Diaries of a Perfectly Imperfect Mom Continued Marissa Jaret Winokur’s Blog: My Son's Separation Anxiety celebrity baby blog Nov 12, 2010 Thanks for welcoming Marissa Jaret Winokur! The actress, who co-hosts the new CBS daytime chat show, The Talk, is mom to 2-year-old Zev Isaac with her husband Judah Miller. Winokur, 37, was diag-nosed with cervical cancer 10 years ago, had a hysterectomy and later welcomed her son with the help of a surrogate. Though her road to motherhood had a few twists and turns, she faces the same joys — and challenges — as any working mom. In her latest blog, Winokur laments her son’s recent problems with separation anxiety. Zev and Mom – Courtesy Marissa Jaret Winokur   This week was insane. My son is obviously going through what they call separation anxiety —what-ever that is and whoever “they” are. I am not really sure if it’s because we went on ourwonderful family vacation — we had so much family time with no work and no Internet that maybe it opened my son’s eyes to the good life. Or maybe it’s just that he is now 2 years and 3 months old and it’s normal. PLEASE TELL ME IT’S NORMAL. The Good Old Days When I leave for work now it’s no longer, “Bah-bye, Mom. ” It’s a complete throw-down fight. He cries for what I’m told is 30-40 minutes! On Wednesday, I took him to the set with me and let him hang out because I seriously couldn’t get out the door, and my husband was like, “Let’s go with Mommy. ” I felt so guilty I let him pick out the biggest donut covered with sprinkles! Judge away … If my co-hosts saw this, they would for sure! I remember when my son was littler and we would go to the park — other big kids would refuse to share toys or scream at my baby when he would waddle over to them. I was always so frustrated with those kids and wondered what their parents were doing wrong. Well, now my son is THAT big kid! My sweet little boy won’t share his toys and actually screamed, “NO BABY, NO BABY” when a little girl tried to sit next to him the other day. He put his hand out and then fell to the ground like he was in pain! When we were at My Gym on Tuesday, I had to force him to do the seesaw with another child. I did it very calmly, but still he was so mad. He wants me to be right next to him at all times — so much so that I needed a break on the weekend. I sent my husband off to the local zoo with Zev, while I went to a kid’s birthday party by myself! Yup, I went to a 3-year-old’s birthday party without my 2-year-old! Before you cast your opinion, hear me out: Zev and Daddy needed a little alone-time. My nerves were totally fried and the birthday party was for a very old friend of mine who has twin daughters. I was going to see many friends I hadn’t seen in a while, and I really just wanted to sit and have some girl-talk and catch up! Now, picking a kid’s birthday party to sit and catch up may not sound right on paper, but it was the best party I have ever been too! I really needed to regroup. Judah and Zev – Courtesy Marissa Jaret Winokur Calling Out In the Night At night, Zev is really getting manipulative: Rather than crying in the middle of the night, he is now saying, “Mamma … Mamma where are you? ” How can I not answer?! He isn’t calling for me —he’s asking, “Where are you? ” like maybe I am gone! So when I go to his room and say, “Mamma and Daddy are home, we are sleeping, ” he now says, “Mamma cuddle, ” or “Hold you, Mamma. ” How can I say no?! He knows I can’t resist a good snuggle! Seriously, this whole sleeping alone thing may not be where it’s at! Think about it. I don’t want to sleep alone. Why should he? I would so much rather have a good snuggle anytime! And as an adult, as much as I love my mom and dad, I would never want to snuggle with them — a three-second hug is plenty! This may be the only time my son will want to just hug me all night long. And he does! He smushes his face on my face and then falls asleep. How can I leave him? In all honesty I don’t want to. It breaks my heart to look at my son and think that the way I look at him and — even when I need a break — the amount of love I have for him, my parents have for me! I never really got it until now. My mom always has that crazy “love” look in her eye that totally annoyed me until I felt myself looking at my son the same way. This does not take away from the fact that my son threw such a temper tantrum at his best friend Jack’s house that Jack’s aunt called it “The Exorcism of Studio City. ” It was so bad that I actually had to leave with him. I was so helpless and lost that I put him in his car seat and slowly took the long route home to calm him down. It was all over a bubble machine that ran out of bubbles! But I kind of understood: Why did they have a bubble machine out with no bubbles! REALLY JACK, WHY?!  Zev and Jack - Courtesy Marissa Jaret Winokur – Marissa Jaret Winokur Marissa Jaret Winokur’s Blog: ‘Vacationing’ with Kids celebrity baby blog NOV 05, 2010 Thanks for welcoming Marissa Jaret Winokur! The actress, who co-hosts the new CBS daytime chat show, The Talk, is mom to 2-year-old Zev Isaac with her husband Judah Miller. Winokur, 37, was diag-nosed with cervical cancer 10 years ago, had a hysterectomy and later welcomed her son with the help of a surrogate. Though her road to motherhood had a few twists and turns, she faces the same joys — and challenges — as any working mom. In her latest blog, Winokur discusses the elation and frustration of traveling with kids. Marissa, Zev, his uncle and cousins – Courtesy Marissa Jaret Winokur   This week I went on a vacation — one of my first since I’ve been a mom. The question is: WHY DO WE DO IT?! In theory, it sounds fun. It sounds relaxing. It’s a vacation after all – a holiday! But when traveling with a child, it should be called something else! Putting It All Together The changes began when planning the trip six months ago. Should we go to Vegas (like always)? No … WALT DISNEY WORLD!! Zev will love it! Picking the right flight was not easy. Because of Zev it was, ‘What is a good time to travel for him? ’ — not us. And that was just the icing. Now, I understand that life changes so much when you have a child, but for some reason this “vacation” really solidified it for me! I think the first clue was in packing … I didn’t pack one pair of nice shoes. Flip-flops and sneakers were all I needed! For the toiletry bag, I had the bare necess-ities. Lip-gloss and mascara (which I never touched) were all I brought for makeup. No curling iron, no dresses — just a bathing suit cover up and lots of undies. My husband and I fit all our stuff into one little rolly bag carry on … But then HOW did I have two bags to check? I mean, my son is only 2 years old, and weighs only 30 lbs. How much stuff can he need?! The answer is: EVERYTHING!! It took many lists and a week to pack! Then there was scheduling. I remember going on trips with my husband and just lying in bed and saying, “What should we do today? ” But this time, I had everything planned out — every meal, every ride, every second to make sure Zev ate and had his naps! For a kid-friendly hotel, I picked the BoardWalk because it has, well, a boardwalk and boats. We also met up with my brother and his kids at Disney. Now that I have a child, it’s more fun vacationing with family members, plus it’s great for cousins who live 3,000 miles apart to spend time together. In the park, I missed Tower of Terror because Zev is obviously too small, but went on It’s a Small World three times! The only sit-down meals we had included Mickey and Donald. No late night drinks and moonlit walks. Actually, I take that back: every night we saw people having yummy drinks as we passed them with our stroller while walking Zev around for his “moonlit walk” — to sleep. We didn’t rent one pay-per-view movie (one of my favorite things to do in hotels) because when Zev fell asleep, we would literally pass out! No hotel sex, no energy. Donald Duck and Zev  Courtesy Marissa Jaret Winokur Watching Zev Experience New Things The biggest difference, though, was that I took 3,000 photos. I didn’t waste my time lying around. I wanted to share all the new adventures with Zev. I was so excited watching him grow and see things he’d never seen before. It wasn’t a romantic getaway — it was a memory for a lifetime. I will forget the horrible flight and I will forget being more tired than I have ever been. But I will never forget seeing Zev meet Donald Duck — his favorite character — or watch his first firework show (every night). The family bond that was made by leaving our everyday lives was amazing. The trip reminded me that I need to put my BlackBerry down and just BE with my son. I multitask way too much. It goes back to the balancing act. I was able to be a mom 100 percent on vacation. And I don’t need to be at Disney to do it. This weekend, I plan on leaving my phone at home and going to a park and just being with Zev. I will start to work on the wife thing next week… It’s funny — I started writing this blog about how hard it is to travel with a child and how much I miss traveling alone with my husband. But while I was writing, I tried to remember trips I took bef-ore and NONE were as special or even as romantic as my family’s first trip to Walt Disney World. I have never loved my husband more than I did while watching him hold our son on his shoulders during the fireworks show. So, I take it back. It was a perfect holiday! Judah and Zev watch the fireworks  Courtesy Marissa Jaret Winokur   Reflecting on Last Week’s Blog I loved all your comments from last week. I read every single one and will continue to do so. I really do feel like we can build a little community. Even the people who think I am a spaz mom, your com-ments are appreciated. I admit I am a spaz! I would love to meet the woman who could remain calm while her baby is locked in the car in the valley in L. A. in the hot sun. Yes, I strive to be that mom. We all do. I see where I may have sounded like a crazy person and app-reciate your comments, as well as the countless women who told tales of their own children being locked in scary places. Thank you for sharing. It made this mom feel better. – Marissa Jaret Winokur Marissa Jaret Winokur’s Blog: What Balancing Act? celebrity baby blog OCT 22, 2010 Meet our newest celebrity blogger, Marissa Jaret Winokur! The actress, who co-hosts the new CBS daytime chat show, The Talk, is mom to 2-year-old Zev Isaac with her husband, comedy writer Judah Miller. Winokur, 37, who won a Tony for her role in Hairspray on Broadway, was diagnosed with cervical cancer 10 years ago, had a hysterectomy and later welcomed her son with the help of a surrogate. Though her road to motherhood had a few twists and turns, she faces the same joys — and challenges – as any working mom. Let’s welcome her onboard! Zev and Marissa – Courtesy Marissa Jaret Winokur   As I sit to start my first mommy blog (not to be confused with my dieting blog … that didn’t work, I never lost weight!) you have to know that I have had a hard time finding the time and place to even type this. Then I realized that is exactly what I need to blog about: We talk about the “balancing act of motherhood, ” but has anyone really figured it out yet?! If so, please comment down below. (Please, only say nice things because I read the comments…)   Here’s my situation: I have now started a new job as a co-host on The Talk! This will really be my first full-time job since my son Zev was born in July 2008. As most of you know, “the road to Zev”was not an easy one. If you don’t know my story, Google “cancer + Broadway + Hairspray, ” “starring on Broadway inHairspray while beating cancer, ” “surrogate + Dancing With the Stars + semi-finalist, ” or “surrogate pregnant while becoming a semi-finalist on DWTS. ” Or who cares, and just start fresh with this blog. All you need to know is that I’ve been a full-time mom for the past year-and-a-half, and now I am starting a full-time job — and I am totally freaking out!!! I find that I am being pulled in so many directions. I call it the 25 percent club. It’s like I am only 25 percent available for everything I do. My husband gets 25 percent. My son gets 25 percent. My job gets 25 perfect. And I get 25 percent. THAT IS NOT GOOD!!! Marissa and co-host Leah Remini  Courtesy Marissa Jaret Winokur   The other day, I was at work with Sharon Osbourne and I had to decide if I should run home for 40 minutes and eat lunch with my son or stay and get some work done for the show. She wisely advised me to go home, saying, “You have your whole life to work, but you can only be a mom to that 2-year-old right now. ” She was right. I went home and after Zev went to sleep I got my work done. So what do we women do?! How can we be strong working women, loving mothers, take care of ourselves mentally and physically (I am seriously gaining a pound a day!) and there was one more thing … um what was it? … Oh well it must not be that important. OH YEAH, a wife! How can we be good wives or loving partners? Seriously, I now sleep in my son’s racecar bed at night with him because he cries and well, I feel so guilty not spending the whole day with him that I try to make up for it at night with cuddles and snuggles. Yes, I am aware my husband would appreciate it too, but… I am hoping that as I blog, I’ll find tricks and learn things that I can do to make the balancing act easier for me and for you! Just so you know, I am actually sitting in my car on a little BlackBerry blogging because I have no place in my house that’s quiet. I guess that should be our first task this week: Let’s all try to find a place that is quiet — and the bathroom does not count! How many times have you said, “I’ll be right back. I have to go to the bathroom, ” and left your child and spouse for at least 20 minutes just to sneak away for quiet time? ADMIT IT, YOU DO!!! Courtesy Marissa Jaret Winokur Marissa Jaret Winokur’s Blog: Scary Mommy Bullies celebrity baby blog OCT 29, 2010 Thanks for welcoming our newest celebrity blogger, Marissa Jaret Winokur! The actress, who co-hosts the new CBS daytime chat show, The Talk, is mom to 2-year-old Zev Isaac with her husb-and Judah Miller. Winokur, 37, was diagnosed with cervical cancer 10 years ago, had a hysterectomy and later welcomed her son with the help of a surrogate. Though her road to motherhood had a few twists and turns, she faces the same joys — and challenges — as any working mom. In her latest blog, Winokur tells of accidentally locking Zev in the car — and feeling judged by other moms for it. Zev and Marissa — Courtesy Marissa Jaret Winokur Bullying seems to be all the talk this month, so I want to talk about mommy bullies! It’s not like I drive Zev to preschool and there’s a mom waiting there to steal my lunch money or tease me about being fat … but the mommy bullies are just as scary and threatening! The Club I find that the “moms club” is a very, very exclusive club! It’s the club of mothers who wear skinny jeans and white button-down shirts and wash their hair twice a day! I do NOT, and mothers who do make me feel really bad. You know who I am talking about! Just to be clear, my husband was very grateful I started working again — because it meant I’d wash my hair and change my clothes. (I live in “workout clothes” … and never work out!) If no tissue is in arm’s reach, I’d rather wipe Zev’s nose on my sleeve than let it run. How many of you have licked a pacifier or a lollipop clean if it falls on the floor before giving it back to your child? Yes, I am that mom… I guess it’s more that I feel judged than bullied, but moms are really hard on other moms! We are all stressed out and at the end of our ropes. At any second of any day I feel like I could just snap. We have to support each other’s tired nerves, I know that sounds so Pollyanna, but really … Mommy groups can be amazing, but haven’t you ever gone to one and felt like you are back in high school, totally on the outside of the “cool kids” club? I totally have!! Courtesy Marissa Jaret Winokur The Car Incident Okay, so here’s what set this off: I pull into the parking lot of the preschool the other day with Zev crying his eyes out, not wanting to get out of the car. I grab his knapsack and stick my phone and keys inside it because I know I’ll need both hands to wrestle Zev out of the car. I start putting his sneakers on while he’s still strapped into his car seat, with the door wide open and the knapsack next to him. A rude mom asks if I can shut the door so she can get out. I say, “One sec. ” Then she said, “I’m in a rush, ” so I say, “Oh fine! ” I shut the door and back away so she can get out. Then I hear “BEEP BEEP. ” OMG! OMG! The car is locked!! I locked the doors before placing the keys into Zev’s bag! And now the bag with my keys and phone are inside with my son, who is already scared to death!! “Call 911, call 911, ” I start screaming. The secretary comes out and says, “Call AAA. ” I just know that will take too long. I cry, “Call 911! ” I start losing my cool … so now my son and I are both crying. I tell the secretary, “I’ll just break a window, ” thinking that would make her realize how serious I am. It works! I hear the sirens coming. By now, every mother is watching — NOT HELPING — watching me and my son as if we were a reality TV show and not living breathing humans! Mind you, I’m wearing what I wore to bed (leggings and a tank top), I have makeup on from the night before, my hair is tied back in a rat’s nest and I’m barefoot because my flip-flops are stuck in the car. I could feel the moms’ judging looks piercing through me. One mom tried to make me feel better, but I think it was really just to get a closer look! The firemen quickly free my son. We both can’t stop crying (though the hot firemen make us both feel better, and my son gets to see a real live fire truck up close)! The school faculty tell me I can’t leave because I’m too upset to drive. So I sit on the front steps with Zev and wait until they say I can go. I will say, one mom did sit with me to help calm me down. When I talked about it with my family and friends later, everyone had a story about how it had either happened to them too or someone they knew! No one — I repeat no one from the school had a story to share: They all seemed to think that it was strange I was sitting there barefoot, crying. I think it would have been stranger if I wasn’t crying! Anyway, here’s the deal: If we aren’t nice to each other as mommies, our children will learn from us and they won’t be nice to each other in school. It starts with us. (P. S. — the woman who sat with me to make me feel better? She has the sweetest daughter in the world and that’s not a coincidence.) Appreciation and Advice Note from last week: Thank you for all your support and comments! That was the first time I really felt like part of a “mommy club. ” My balancing act has gotten worse and I need a sleeping inter-vention … maybe next week! Okay wait, one more thing! Being Halloween week, I need advice. It took me weeks to get Zev to put on a costume. Weeks! But now that I got him in it, he won’t take it off!! I do not want to celebrate Thanksgiving with the Incredible Hulk. What do I do?! Courtesy Marissa Jaret Winokur   – Marissa Jaret Winokur

Marissa Jaret Winokur and Zev
Marissa and co-host Leah Remini 
Zev Miller
Marissa Jaret Winokur and Zev
Marissa Jaret Winokur, Jack and Zev
Marissa Jaret Winokur and Zev Cousins and Uncle
Zev and Donald Duck
Judah and Zev watch Fireworks
Marissa Jaret Winokur and Zev
Juddah Miller & Zev
Zev and Jack
Marissa Jaret Winokur and Zev
Marissa Jaret Winokur and Zev
Marissa Jaret Winokur and Zev
Marissa Jaret Winokur and Zev